I am learning to be different in my body and in my life. It’s amazing what life will teach you if you’re willing to receive the gifts and the lessons. For me it’s about learning to work well and be well in a well world. It begins with me.
I grew up in a poor environment where I learned to survive. I acquired a multitude of coping skills. My Family were beautiful big hearted people. They were loving and generally kind. They however were uneducated, at least in our traditional universities and schools. That left them ill-equipped to maneuver societies rules and guidelines.
I learned to work hard, to sacrifice for those you love. Never ask for much because there wasn’t much to give. Many times we did without. We would scrounge through the car seats for change to go through McDonald’s drive-through. I remembered watching Gone With The Wind and when Scarlet O’Hara said “I will never go hungry again“. I said exactly!
I decided that I would manage all of my needs and help the world around me do the same. I Never attended college, life is my university, my playground, my stage, my gift. I open it and open to it tenderly now. Having graduated from the school of hard knocks and 2 x 4’s. I now savor the sweetness of grace and ease as I am actually learning to partner with life. I am changing the way I am being in this world and encouraging others to do the same. For me it’s no longer about work hard, work smarter,. It’s about how can I be and feel the best that I can by partnering with all the elements of life around me?
See what I learned in my upbringing was to cut myself off, to avoid the pain. To become an island. I’m good on an island. I am very self-sufficient and self-reliant and yet I am learning about the interdependence of life in a way that has deepened into the cells of my body, to the myelin sheath of my tissues, the depths of my heart and soul.
So many people are learning to overcome the habits, the patterns, the history of their past and the past of this world. Many have learned they are codependent and that has contributed to the entanglement in our world and a struggle of disconnect. Codependency is not a natural state, it is a learned state and can be unlearned. What is a natural state is the realization that we are interdependent.
We need each other. What we need is for each of us to show up as the miraculous divine amazing beings that we are and not only allow but invite the world around us to show up as it is. Not just the human beings, all life around us. Until we learn to trust this divinity we claim to believe in, but actually doubt, we will not know peace. Until we act accordingly, Mature as a species and recognize that our connection with Source, God, Universe, whatever term you choose to use, is asking us to show up divinely. In my walking practice these days I am learning to continually forgive and trust. If I trust there is a divine plan and a divine God, and I do, then there is nothing here that is not part of that plan. Then all I can say is thank U! I’m sorry, please forgive me and I love you!
Recently Normen and I had dinner with 2 of our favorite people, Mark & Rachel. At the end of the evening Mark asked me, “What is your take on our political environment?” My response surprised him, which surprised me because I imagined he had already thought of these things…. So since my dear friends, who in my mind are 2 of the most conscious people I know, did not immediately see what seemed so clear to me, I am sharing with you here now…
From my perspective our Presidential “Race” is the best expression of our shadows the Universe could possibly give us. As a collective we have been so blind in so many ways. We have been fighting a war so intense within ourselves that we have simply been afraid to own it…. Instead we wage our battles and our wars with countries, ideologies, religions, corporations, with each other. We have a system in place that while it may be the best system currently, and I emphasize, may be, it is faulty at best and dangerous at worst. We just have to look at the state of our world for proof. We have so many cracks in the dam there is not enough plaster to plug up the holes and quite frankly the system is crumbling, even though it clings and “fights” to stay in tact.
I could not have consciously come up with better examples of extremes and caricatures of our shadows than the people being highlighted in our media and debates. We have Donald Trump as one extreme and Bernie Sanders at the total opposite end of the spectrum, with Hillary Clinton in between… Then of course, there are those even deeper in the recesses of our mind that get very little “airtime”, “acknowledgment” or “support.” These are the “underdogs” because these people do not stand a chance in a world where duality “runs the show”. Seriously, who is writing this script? Oh, I forgot, we are…
We have been living inside our minds, trying to create a “safe space”, creating walls (let’s build a wall to keep them out and keep them unseen). We’ve been stifling our emotions so we don’t express ourselves fully for fear of overwhelm or being too much, too happy, too sad and for God’s sake, do not admit I have any hate for anyone or anything because after all; I am a good person and I don’t ask for too much… We have bottled up our feelings for fear of ??? That is a question we must each answer for ourselves. What do you fear that you keep bottled up so tightly it has to be expressed outside of you? Which of these candidates represents your greatest fears?
This may seem like I am professing doom and gloom, but that is not the case. I say this now sincerely because I truly believe this can all turn out to be one of our greatest blessings. If enough of us can claim the fragmented aspects of our souls that keep coming “back in our faces” as something to resist, then this drama being played out in front of us, will indeed serve the highest purpose. We can come together as Individuals where our differences are celebrated, respected and even work in harmony for a better species of Humankind. To bring our Collective Hearts, Minds and Spirits to realize this World is resplendent with beauty, compassion and abundant resources which “naturally” support all life on our planet.
Are you ready, willing and able to go deeply within, to honestly access: Where am I holding back and what parts of me have I cut off, disowned, disallowed? How can I integrate those aspects of me so my world can be more harmonious, loving and kind? How can I radiate that kindness out into the world in a way that owns every aspect of being so nothing is left to fight against?
I pray we all wake up and realize we can create Heaven on Earth. First we have to know it’s possible, then we have to realize it is already available in the here and now, but we simply have to claim it. No-one outside of you can claim it for you.
I am ready, willing and able? Are you?
Blessings and Love, Always,
When I was a little girl growing up in the Pentecostal Church I remember so many conflicting things. I remember having wonderful times outside with my cousins and my sister playing games while the “grownups” were inside the tent, with my Uncle Charles preaching and my mom, aunts, uncles , cousins and the rest of the congregation listening to the sermon and singing. Those were some of my better memories. There were other times when I would listen to the sermon and particularly as a teenager, it seemed that everything I thought or said or did was condemning me to hell. I remember my Uncle preaching to fear God and I remember in my earliest years thinking that is the most ridiculous thing I could ever hear. Why would anyone worship a God who required them to fear him? It never made any sense to me. Yet in the back of my mind and in my heart and Soul I knew that God was always with me, I always felt his love and protection, yet I never felt fearful, of God. It seemed to me like that was a contrived statement from people who did not in the slightest understand God or the essence of what it meant to be alive. Yet, these were the adults that I was surrounded with and loved with all my heart. I wondered, where exactly am I from? I didn’t quite fit in with the people and the family I was born into. Much of what they said was confusing at best and conflicted at most. I would hear one thing and witness the exact opposite behavior. So many things did not make sense to me from my earliest days on this earth. I often felt like an alien in a foreign land that loved the people and the planet I inhabited and lived with but could not begin to comprehend the meaning of why am I here? What could I possibly share and/or learn with these beautiful confused frightened beings I called family?
When I moved away from the family I felt I could finally breathe freely and actually explore who am I and why am I here? I began simply by looking up the word fear in the dictionary. I could not fathom or come to any type of agreement with a God that I had to fear. It simply made no sense and I refused to worship anything or anyone I had to fear. When I looked up this definition I saw many different “meanings” and one of them was, : to have a reverential awe of <fear God>. This finally made sense to me and I realized, which I always felt to be true, that the truth was in fact being presented to me through my biblical teachings, but the people teaching me… family, were actually ignorant of what in fact they were teaching. Reverential awe made total sense to me. I have always felt, and still do, a reverential awe for God and all life, which to me, is simply an aspect of God. I have always been and always will be in love with God and all of Life that shows up as different aspects, representations, prisms of God. You call it what you will, I know everything to be God.
Keep in mind, it took me a very long time to even be able to use the word God. I discovered A Course in Miracles about 20 plus years ago but rejected it at first because of the biblical language. In my mind, the God that most Christians worshipped, certainly my family and the ones I came in contact with, was insane. I compared it with mythology and the Greek & Roman Gods. It seemed to me the God most Christians worshiped was really a carbon copy of Zeus who played chess with the lives of humans and deemed some beings worthy of Heaven while others were doomed to hell. That said, even the ones worthy, had to be put through trials and tests that were horrific at best and just plain cruel. Again, made no sense to me and I simply wouldn’t agree to this interpretation.
Then I discovered BodyTalk and began a lifelong in-depth study of Me and my relationship with God and this world. What a beautiful world I discovered. I have now come full circle and am quite comfortable in my relationship with God. Not as some outside source that decides whether I am blessed to have a good life or cursed to hell. Instead I know God to be “All that I am” and all that anyone or anything is. I know God as pure Love, pure Bliss, pure Energy. I am in love with my Life and the world around me. Do I feel the sadness of others? Yes, I certainly do and probably more intensely than I ever had, which is saying something because at one point I simply wanted to leave this planet ( actually to be honest, much of my earlier life I wanted to leave this planet). I remember after my mom died, watching the movie, The Green Mile…. I so related to Big John and the way he felt everything and in his words, “He killed them with their love, it happens all the time.” In the movie he opted for execution rather than continuing to live in this world where he truly felt all the pain of everyone he came in contact with. I totally related to that movie and I remember sobbing after watching it because that is how I felt.
Now, after all these years, I feel it even more deeply and yet, I feel my connection to Source, to God, even more deeply and I know in my heart, in my Soul “All is Well”.
Blessed Be - I Love You - Always, In Gratitude & Love, I Am